This is the completion of a two-part article about the Voice(s) in my head. If you haven’t read the first part, you can find it HERE.

The first part emphasized the importance of recognizing that the Voice in Your Head is NOT you. That is the most impactful insight from this consideration.

Over the years, I have identified eight different sabotaging Voices and one Loving, Supportive Voice. I assume that the Loving Voice is the Voice of my Higher Self or Spirit. It stands out from all the others because It is soft-spoken as if It ‘knows’ that the long-term outcome of all situations is always Good.

In contrast, the sabotaging Voices are filled with fear and anger. They are insistent, almost demanding. They are loud and disruptive. I identify them based on the kind of opinions they express. In Part 1, I introduced you to:

• Gremlin who comes up with all kinds of terrible things that might happen to me
• Grinch who has critical comments about almost everyone else
• Growler who is my inner critic and predicts that I will fail at everything I try, and finally
• Glutton who encourages me to eat all kinds of fattening, unhealthy foods to defeat my weight loss efforts.

You noticed that all of their names start with a “G”. That’s because I love alliterations and it made this process fun.

Now let me introduce you to the rest of this motley crew.

Grovel (Goofoff)

Although I am retired and don’t want a job, I do have a lot of things that I want to accomplish. The major ‘career/work’ thing that I want to do now is all about writing. I am working on a couple of nonfiction spiritual books and practicing copywriting (persuasive writing).

I may plan to work on my writing for an hour or two today. When I sit down to do it I check my email first. Three hours later I realize what time it is and that I have to be somewhere else in 20 minutes. So much for writing today.

That was Grovel distracting me. He is the King of Distraction. I used to call him Rusty Resistance.  But that doesn’t start with a “G”. I call him Grovel because he has me groveling with unimportant (menial) tasks when there are much more impactful things I could be doing.

Grovel has hundreds of these ’urgent projects’. I can easily wind up playing solitaire on my computer for an hour, telling myself: “Just one more game … make that two, or let’s wait till I win one”. Even cleaning the my desk can seem more important than my writing.

This all happens so quickly that there usually isn’t any conscious consideration of what is most important. So then, there is no choice. This may be the secret to minimizing these distractions. Once again it comes down to awareness of what choices I am making moment-to-moment and deciding whether an activity will further my goals on not. No more “sleeping on the job”.

It turns out that Grovel is motivated by his colleague, Ghoul.

Ghoul

Ghoul is the keeper of my fears. I’m referring here to irrational fears, fears of events which are extremely unlikely to happen unless I give them a lot of mental time and energy. The earlier ‘story’ about what might happen after that car pulls in front of me, is an example of this.

The most costly fear for me is the fear of change, especially the fear of success or failure of projects that are important to me like publishing my books and losing weight.

In either case, those changes will result in unpredictable, unknown events. It seems to be this unpredictability that most activates Ghoul. It sets him off collaborating with Gremlin to come up with a scary scenario that may keep me from taking a desired and necessary action.

To keep Ghoul’s histrionics under control I have to remind myself that these are exceedingly unlikely events and that everything will be fine. Again, this starts with being aware that a part of my psyche is running wild.

Grumbler

Grumbler is another ‘fun’ garacter. He likes to imagine all sorts of arguments that I will have with other people in my life. Some of those imagined arguments are with people who are significant in my life, like my wife or kids. Some are with people I don’t even know like the guy who cut me off on the freeway.

I find that if I entertain these thoughts, if I engage with them and let Grumbler carry on with the “he said: …”, “she said: …”, the intensity of the mental argument will increase and I may find myself actually engaged in that argument in the not too distant future.

To stop this nonsense I ask myself: “Do you want to really have this argument?” The answer is always “No” so I just turn my mental focus to having a positive interaction with that person.

Grody

There is a reason I put this one last. I don’t want to talk about him. Suffice it to say that he lives in my baser instincts. But he is there.

 Now What?

So there you have it, the eight members of the Disempowerment Committee that live in my mind.

Before I discuss this any further, let me be exceedingly clear: I am not a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, not a counselor of any kind. I am a person like you who is actively engaged in the inner struggle of accomplishing things that are important to me. I am sharing my current opinions and insights here. If they are useful to you, great. If not, forget about this.

Note: If you are having considerable struggles which are interfering with the quality of your life or endangering you or others in any way, I urge you to seek professional psychiatric or counseling services.

Back to these Garacters. I don’t know that there are actually eight distinct mental processes going on. In fact, they often seem to be working together as a team. However, it has been useful for me, in my effort to cope with this committee, to think of them as distinct entities.

First, it is clear to me that these thoughts are not seeking to harm me. I believe they are a part of ancient protective mechanisms that developed to keep us safe eons ago when the world was a mysterious and much more dangerous place.

Our lives have gotten a lot more secure even considering the pandemic that is going on right now. So these Voices are counterproductive, if not disempowering or even life diminishing.

The most important strategy for me to deal with these voices is to pay attention to my thoughts. Am I thinking about something that is moving me towards my desired goal or am I being urged to abandon these noble ideas in favor of some imagined safety.

I find that when I speak to them by name it helps me to remember that the voice I hear in my head is not me speaking and so I don’t have to accept or act on what ‘they’ say. I can also mentally respond to them to settle the issue: “I don’t want to have that argument, Grumbler”, or “I can’t be distracted now, Grovel”.

I have another mental character that I have fun with and find useful in dealing with Garacters. His name is Captain Consciousness. He is the superhero of Consciousness. He is the Captain of ‘my ship’ in charge of keeping me on track. When I remmber to leave him in charge of my train of thougts, it is much easier to avoid being switched off to some insignificant side trail to nowhere. I just made a note to my future self to write a post about him so stay tuned.

Obviously, there is nothing magical about the names I have chosen. I invite you to notice the conversations you hear in your head and see if you can identify the members of your Disempowerment Committee. I would love to hear your comments about how this strategy works for you.

May Love and Peace and Clarity Fill Your Days!